Why Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

by Kathy Humphrey

Well, it’s not, really, and there is no answer, but with the Mad Hatter popping out all over (again) this spring, it’s a topical question. Spring. April. Fools. Walruses…walrusi? What makes more sense than to have a tea party?

Sometimes the best defence is a very good offence, and parties are, theoretically, inoffensive. So there you go! You can brew up some tea and offer some varieties of cold beverages to your guests, depending upon the weather and your inclination. Food options are as unlimited as food varieties are—if you feel like eating something, assume that others would like to eat it too, and offer it around. Alice seems to have little solid (or liquid, despite the nominal claim to fame of the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party) refreshment offered to her. There is great mention of treacle, which is a thick syrup that we don’t see much of here in Canada. I’ve included my grandmother’s recipe for Honey Cake as a nod to the treacle—it is delicious served warm with whipped cream.

Remember your savoury options. Egg salad is usually neglected, though people tend to flock to it. Classic sandwiches for tea parties are watercress, or cucumber (thinly sliced), or perhaps even sardine or smoked salmon.
When hosting a tea party, consider the opportunity you have to make a fabulous experience, and go with it!

Limeade
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups water
1 1/2 cups lime juice (10-12 limes; easiest to juice if they’re warm, or roll them firmly between your palm and the counter first)
ice cubes
lime slices, to garnish
In small saucepan, combine sugar and water. Bring to boil, stirring to dissolve sugar; boil for 5 minutes. Let cool; stir in lime juice. Transfer to jar, cover and chill. To serve, stir syrup with 9 cups cold water (sparkling water can be used if desired). Add lots of ice cubes, garnish with lime slices. Serve.

Rhubarb Nectar
10 cups chopped rhubarb
3 cups water
1 strip each orange and lemon rind
2 cups granulated sugar
In large saucepan combine rhubarb, water and rinds; bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until rhubarb is broken up. Strain through cheesecloth-lined strainer into clean saucepan. Stir in sugar; bring to boil. Pour into jars, chill before serving.

Honey Cake
3 eggs, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup liquid honey
1 cup cold strong tea (or coffee)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
3 1/2 cups flour
blanched almonds, optional
Preheat oven to 325˚F. Combine eggs, sugar, veggie oil and honey: mix, until creamy. Slowly add tea, cinnamon and cloves. In separate bowl, stir together baking powder and soda and flour. Slowly add to creamed mixture. Pour batter into greased 8" x 8" pan. Bake for 1 hour, or until done (springs back from centre, pulls away from edges). Optional: Place a row of almonds on cake after baking.

Buttermilk Wheat Scones
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 Tbsp wheat germ
1/3 cup sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup cold butter
3/4 cup raisins
1 1/2 tsp grated orange peel
1 cup buttermilk
Stir together flour, sugar, baking powder, soda, wheat germ, and salt. Cut butter into flour mixture. Stir in raisins and orange peel. Pour in buttermilk and stir until dough cleans the side of the bowl. Gather up dough, turn out onto floured board and knead lightly only a few times. Pat into circle about 1/2" thick. Cut into rounds. Brush tops with a little bit of milk if desired. Bake on lightly greased baking sheet, at 425˚F, for about 12 minutes.

Devilled Eggs
12 eggs, hard-cooked and peeled
1/3 cup real mayonnaise
2 tsp mustard powder
salt and pepper, to taste
paprika
Cut eggs in half, lengthwise, using very sharp knife. Scoop out yolks and remove to separate bowl; set whites aside. Mash yolks together. Add mayonnaise, mustard, salt and pepper: stir until well blended. Taste: adjust seasoning if necessary. Gently spoon yolk mixture into whites. Sprinkle with paprika; serve.

Kathy Humphrey lives in Victoria with her husband and two children. She tries to see cooking for a family not as a chore but as a creative outlet.