The Gift of Healthy Sexuality

by Karen Platt

One of the questions I am frequently asked is where to go for reliable information about sexual health and development. There’s a lot to sift through these days, both in the bookstores and on the net. Many of us have been disappointed by a promising title on a shelf or have run into “too much information” by innocently typing questionable search terms into a search engine or clicking on the wrong link. Trust me, one needs to be crystal clear when searching for internet information about sexuality (for example, make sure you Google “children + sexual health” rather than “kids + sex”). So in the interest of the holidays, here are some of my favourite books for parents and kids and some websites for great sexual health information. Why not give yourself and your family the gift of healthy sexuality this season?

My favourite book of all time on sexuality is Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They’d Ask) by Justin Richardson, MD, and Mark A. Schuster, MD, PhD. If you only bought one book about sexuality and sexual development, this is it—warranting a place of honour on your parenting shelf. You will return to it often.

Richardson and Schuster are by turns hilariously funny and overwhelmingly poignant but they are always bang-on with their knowledge and “advice.” They tackle all of the tough subjects with real-life examples that any parent will recognize. With humour, insight and a whole lot of common sense, they lead us through what to expect and how to deal with sexual development from birth to adulthood.

“When it comes right down to it,” they write, “you don’t give your child her sexuality. What you give her is the privacy and permission to seek it out, and the confidence to claim it as hers once she’s found it.”

This book is a must-have for parents of kids of all ages and now that you can even find it on used book sites for next to nothing, there’s no excuse for not owning a copy.

The sexual health series for children by Robie Harris and Michael Emberley includes It’s Not the Stork (age 4+), It’s So Amazing (age 7+) and It’s Perfectly Normal (age 10+). These books, featuring narration by a very wise bird and a very embarrassed bumblebee, will delight kids and adults alike. The books cover all the sexual development bases from body parts to puberty to different kinds of families and much more. The illustrations are charming and engaging, the information is precise and accurate as well as fun and accessible. These are kids’ books but don’t be fooled; many adults tell me they learned volumes from them. And had fun doing it.

The internet is replete with sexual health sites but, as you can imagine, they are not all created equal. Check out:

www.advocatesforyouth.org. The parent section includes comprehensive information on development, tips for talking to kids, teens and health care providers and more.

sexualityandu.ca. While this Canadian site is geared mainly toward older youth and teens, there is some great development information in the parents section.

www.thehormonefactory.com is an interactive site geared toward the 10- to 12-year-old set. Through Flash technology, kids can access information from puberty through to sexual intercourse, masturbation and pregnancy. There is also an accompanying parent’s site.

www.cyh.com.au is catering to 6- to 12-year-olds with lots of body info and a reassuring “Nearly Teens” section where kids can get some pressing questions answered such as “Do boys have breasts?” and “Is that smell really me?”

There are lots of other great books and websites. For a more complete list of favourites, go to islandparent.ca/current/birdsand.html.
Wishing you a sexually healthy new year.

Karen Platt is a writer and sexual health educator. Send questions to karen@islandparent.ca.