The Family Vacation

by Robin Fast

The family vacation. Can you really put family and vacation in the same sentence? For some of us the memories may not be that positive. What I remember most is sitting in the back seat of the car on the way to the lake and asking Dad, “When are we going to be there?” To keep me quiet, he’d tell me to check the odometer and wait for a certain mileage mark. But when we hit that mark and still weren’t there, my confidence in the entire venture was shattered. One time, when we came back from fishing, wet, cold and empty-handed, it was all that I’d expected.

But there were other trips, too. I remember seven of us in an old green Dodge Dart driving from Manitoba to Mexico. I know we were shoehorned in the back seat like sardines for hours on end, but what I remember most is seeing landmarks like Mt. Rushmore, shopping for souvenirs in El Paso, exploring the bat caves in Carlsbad and having a lot of fun and laughter with my family.

So with three kids and a summer ahead of us, this looks like the year to take on the challenge of the family vacation. With all of those childhood memories following me around I’m feeling the pressure to get it right (or wrong in all of the right ways).

Two years ago, we did Disneyland. I don’t think there is a trip a parent can embark on with more confidence in the kids having a blast. For us, however, the flight down was another story. One of my kids threw up, leaving me holding the soggy bag and thinking—none too sympathetically— “Oh great, if she can’t take a little turbulence, how is she going to ride Splash Mountain?”

On our first day at the theme park we decided to take the monorail. What could build the excitement more than seeing Disneyland from above—the people, the rides, the continual action? We began the trip, rounded a few corners and, instead of remarking on the rides, the first thing the kids exclaimed, in unison, was “Look! McDonald’s!”

Things got better, though, and the trip ended up being even more fun than I anticipated, although my wife was calling me “the General” by the end. Apparently my insistence that we do everything twice was contrary to her plan of pool, palms, and piña coladas.

This summer, the trip will be different. A van loaded with camping gear, a map of Western Canada, games, books and the critical component missing from my childhood—a DVD player.

I intend to include, along with the requisite kid-related flicks, one homemade recording—footage taken with my video camera pointed outside the van window. I figure when the kids get tired of the movies we’ve brought and tired of the prairie landscape, I can throw that in and they can watch the landscape footage blur by. My bet is that because it’s on the DVD player they’ll actually watch it.

Regardless of where we end up and how quickly we drive back, I know there are things that I should keep in mind along the way—things that will ensure this vacation is actually a good one with family instead of something that leaves us dreaming of a vacation from family.

Here’s my list to me:
Have a flexible plan. Know where you are going and how long it will take, but be sure to allow for extra time or shorter days in the car. I’ve driven to Manitoba in 24 hours but won’t be doing it this time.

Involve your children in the planning so they have a stake in the trip. An afternoon at the dinosaur museum may be what I want for them but they may lose interest after an hour. Be prepared to go with the flow—even if you may never get there again.

Have space for the children to have space from each other if possible. If not, add extra time for additional stops.
Make some CDs that include a mix of everyone’s favourite music.

Keep lots of fluids and healthy snacks in the vehicle. We are what we eat—two weeks of chips and pop will turn anyone into a salty, greasy time bomb ready to explode.

Have games that can be played in the car. Even packages of writing paper and pens can fill up an afternoon on the road.

Take along books and magazines. If the kids pack these themselves they are more likely to enjoy them. Talking books work—especially if someone is feeling sick—and provide a break from a DVD player.

Bring along a repertoire of campfire songs (they work just as well in the car) and a few car games that you remember from your earlier family vacations. I remember counting the number of canoes, blue cars and motor homes we passed along the way. In the prairies the alphabet game (finding words on signs, in the order of the alphabet, that start with or have in them the letter you are on) could take a couple of hours. A quick search on the internet will give you all kinds of other ideas.

Find a pool at least once a day or whenever you can. Nothing provides exercise, stress relief, cooling off and laughter like an hour in a swimming pool or at the lake.

Notice the subtle cues that it’s time to slow down and smell the dandelions. If your wife says “That looks like a nice antique store,” she’s not just making conversation. If your children say “Are we there yet?” you may need to answer yes and create a new “there” soon.

And remember that a trip really is about the journey. Make it one that they won’t forget for all of the right reasons. And wish me luck.

Robin Fast is an instructor with Camosun College’s Community, Family and Child Studies diploma program. He is also a learning and growing parent.