Finding Time for Homework
by Daniel HughesMy son has always been a bright little man so I assumed that when he started school, he’d learn to read and write and do math with very little help from me.
I was wrong. And now I’m in the midst of re-arranging my daily schedule so that I can make the time to help my son with his studies.
Research shows that children do better at school when their fathers are involved in their education. As with most things in life, we are the best role models for our children. Not so much by what we say, but by what we do.
Today most teachers in our elementary schools are women. It didn’t used to be that way, but it is now. Our children don’t have enough positive male role models to help them understand the importance of learning, that it can be fun, and to value the process.
Learning the ABCs at home is where it all begins. Learning the basics with dad can really set your child up for success. When we are a part of their “teaching team” they will pay a lot more attention.
The most important years in a child’s academic life are kindergarten through Grade 3—not high school, when so many are focused on getting grades high enough to go to university. It all starts early on—in my son’s case, right here, right now. Elementary, my dear Watson!
With that in mind, it’s easy to see why a dad’s involvement in the elementary years of schooling is so important. When our children see us making the time to help them with their studies, they will quickly realize that this is important stuff and that dad is here to help.
The following suggestions, from the online literacy resource Parents Boost Learning, have helped me help my son with his reading and math. I’ve been doing some of them since the day he was born. But others are more subtle and I need to work more on them.
• Read to and with your children for 30 minutes every day. It is very important to read out loud to your children before they start school. Help your children to read with you. Ask them to find letters and words on the page and talk with your children about the story.
• Help your children to read on their own. Reading at home helps children do better in school. Have lots of children’s books in your home and visit the library every week. Help your children get their own library cards and let them pick out their own books.
• If your child has a developmental delay, he may find reading frustrating. Have audio books in your home. Borrow or buy a tape player that is easy to work. If you cannot find recordings of your child’s favourite books, you or a family member could make recordings of them for your child to listen to while looking at the books.
• Help your child learn that reading is important. Suggest reading as a free-time activity. Make sure your children have time in their day to read. Set a good example for them by reading newspapers, magazines and books.
• If English is a second language, read and write with your children in their native language. Practicing their first language will help your children learn to read and write English.
• Talk with your children as you do daily activities together. When you take your children places, talk with them about what you are doing and ask them questions.
• Ask your children to describe events in their lives. Talking about their experiences makes children think about them. Giving detailed descriptions and telling complete stories also helps children learn about how stories are written and what the stories they read mean.
• Restrict the amount and kind of TV your children watch. Watch educational TV programs with your children that teach letter sounds and words or give information about nature and science.
Tips for math success:
• Be positive. Your positive attitudes are catching, but so are your negative attitudes and fears.
• Never criticize your children’s teacher in front of them. When teachers and parents work together as a team, everyone wins and children are the beneficiaries.
• Let your children know that you think math is important.
• Encourage persistence. Some problems take time to solve, and sometimes you and your children need to take a break, and return with fresh enthusiasm.
• Build on their strengths and what they already know.
• Take care not to be critical of an incorrect answer or to be excessive in your praise of correct ones. Wrong answers should, however, be corrected.
• Appreciate the value of “not knowing” and use these occasions as opportunities for growth rather than anxiety.
• Invite your children to share their thinking and understanding (or lack of it) in a safe and relaxed atmosphere. Remember, listening is harder than telling and takes skill and patience.
• Children develop a love of reading when parents read to them on a regular basis. A love for math develops in a similar way.
• Help your children make connections between school math and math in their everyday world.
The hard part, for me at least, was making the commitment to stay the course and find that extra 20 minutes at the end of each busy day to spend some quiet time working with my little man on his studies. I’m front end loading, starting young, as I know this will make the academic challenges ahead that much easier for him.
Daniel Hughes is a family psychotherapist based in Victoria. To find out about his Bringing Baby Home workshops, visit victoriafamilytherapy.com.
