If You Build It

Blueprints for a Mom & Baby Group

“If you build it, they will come.”

If you’ve ever seen the movie Field of Dreams you are probably familiar with those enigmatic words that Kevin Costner’s character, Ray Kinsella, heard while standing in the middle of his Iowa corn field.

“Build what?” Ray wondered until eventually, he realized he was supposed to plough under his corn and put in a baseball field.

Although not entirely in the same situation as that fictitious farmer (it’s hard to find a corn field in downtown Victoria), I did have a similar epiphany last summer when I was deciding how to spend the rest of my time on maternity leave. I was searching for “my kind” of mom and baby group—one that still fed my other interests and passions aside from being a mother—and unfortunately, it didn’t seem to exist. Not being one to let a little matter like that stand in my way, I decided to create a group of my own. I had the vision at the time that if I built a group that fulfilled some of my own interests and dreams, other women would come. And come they did.

I had heard of a website called Meetup (www.meetup.com) after I learned that someone in Victoria had started a hiking group for parents and their babies, and posted their outings on that particular site. Using the Victoria Baby Hiking Group (which still exists) as a model, I decided to start my own Meetup group with the purpose of getting together with other moms and babies to visit sights of interest around Victoria. I didn’t want to stop doing the things that I liked to do just because I now had a baby in tow. My plan was that I would still get out and about around town but that I’d do it with my daughter along for the ride. The bonus was that I knew I was going to meet other like-minded moms and feed my passion for organizing events at the same time.

The Victoria Baby Area Attractions Group’s first meetup in September 2008 started small. My friend Michelle and I went to Victoria Butterfly Gardens with our daughters, who were both about six months old at the time. Our next meetup was at Beacon Hill Children’s Farm and nine moms came out with their babies to connect with others and see the fabulous “goat run.” Over the next month, we went to Haliburton Farm, Abkhazi Garden and Swan Lake Nature Sanctuary. Those outings were lots of fun, but nothing compared to the meetup I arranged with John Adams from Discover the Past Tours to go on a Ghostly Walk at Hallowe’en. Twenty-four moms came out that day, pushing 24 strollers full of babies—in Hallowe’en costumes of course—around downtown Victoria. Unperturbed by our sometimes squawking little ones, John led the tour with ease. He did tell us months later, when he led us on a walking tour of the Craigdarroch neighbourhood, that he still gets questioned about just what that large group of strollers was all about that day. Apparently we were quite the sight!

Other meetups were just as much fun. We went to Emily Carr House, Goldstream Park to see the salmon run, Ross Bay Cemetery for a murder-themed tour and we took part in a tea tasting at Silk Road Tea. We sipped drinks at Sea Cider Farm & Ciderhouse, visited St. Ann’s Academy, and strolled around Finnerty Gardens at the University of Victoria. And that’s just a sampling. Over the course of a year we held 46 meetups and hardly ever duplicated our outings. Luckily, along the way some other moms stepped up to help me out as assistant organizers so we could all take part in organizing meetups as our schedules allowed. Everyone in the group devoted time to volunteer—that was one of the things that was so special.

I didn’t envision at the time I started the group that it would grow to over 150 members, but that’s what happened. Every week I got a few new requests from moms who wanted to join which meant we usually met someone new at each meetup. The group was always friendly and welcoming and the new participants were happy to meet other moms and get out and about with their babies. Right away we all had something in common—our kids—which made it easy to connect.

On average, eight to 12 adults came to each meetup. Sometimes husbands or friends or grandmas joined us, but often it was just us moms with our babies, who varied in age but mostly were all under two. The babies sometimes slept through a meetup, needed to be nursed or changed, or squawked a bit until their moms tended to them. We usually toted them in strollers or carriers. Visiting attractions with the group was wonderful because we all had little ones in tow so we completely understood if another mom had to take time to tend to her baby. And none of us was perturbed by a little crying here and there. We got to the point where we barely heard it at all!

I had a fantastic maternity leave because I found a way to still do the things that interested me—all with my daughter in tow. I also met a bunch of wonderful women along the way. But my daughter is now a walking toddler instead of a baby and taking her “along for the ride” isn’t as easy as it once was. I also realized I needed to start doing more things that were interesting to her and not just to me. So at the end of July, I celebrated the end of the group and the beginning of another. Anne, one of my assistant organizers who has a son about a year younger than my daughter, stepped up to carry the torch and has started her own meetup group with the same purpose in mind—for new moms and their babies to get out and sightsee around Victoria. It’s called the Victoria Baby Sightseeing Group and can be found at www.meetup.com/Victoria-Baby-Sightseeing/. If you have a baby and are looking for a way to get out and see Victoria and meet other moms, this would be a wonderful group for you to join. A lot of my Victoria Baby Area Attractions Group’s members just switched over to Anne’s group to continue the adventures! And if this group doesn’t fit the bill, you can always check out some of the others or create your own.

I built the group, the moms came, and along the way I saw some amazing sights and made some lasting connections. While our kids are still too young to play baseball together, I have no doubt that when they are older many of us will still be in touch to make it happen. That sounds like a good dream to me.

Beth Cougler Blom is still in awe of the sights of Victoria and blogs about her adventures at http://shadesofbliss.blogspot.com.