For the Baby Who Has Everything

An original baby shower gift

by Kim Tait

Does anyone really know where to begin when shopping for a baby shower gift—especially if the shower is before the baby is born and you don’t know whether to go with pink dresses or blue bonnets? Add to that the pressure we put on ourselves to buy the perfect gift, the one that evokes oh’s and ah’s, or at least something that is useful, that will not be thrown into the back of the closest or posted the next day on Used Victoria or Craigslist.

Not long ago, a few months after my son was born, my sister was invited to a baby shower and was stumped by what to buy. For the first time I was not speechless about this topic. Having just had a baby I was bursting with ideas. My sister, overwhelmed by my enthusiasm, suggested that I make a list of my favourite items (maybe she was wisely channeling my craziness towards a computer screen and away from her). I wrote a personalized list of the products I, as a new parent, could not live without. Then I wrote a description of each product and why it had saved my life.

For those of you who can remember what it was like to be a new mom, you may also remember the value of, say, a blanket that could keep your baby swaddled and sleeping longer or a song that could instantly take their tears away.

I ended up attending the baby shower with my sister, not really knowing any of the people and nervous that my personalized list (along with one of the items on it) was my sister’s gift. My sister was also nervous, as she loved her friend who was expecting any day, but also did not have a lot of extra funds to spend on an extravagant gift. I think secretly we were both worried that the other women would think that we were crazy or cheap or both. However, what happened was completely the opposite of what we had expected.

When it was time to open our gift, the mom-to-be read the list, which to our surprise ended up taking the rest of the shower. Part way through each of my suggestions and descriptions she would constantly be interrupted by other mothers agreeing, or adding other products or tricks that worked for them. The list went from inspiring the general sharing of ideas to a heart-to-heart discussion on the highs and lows of parenting a first child, what women wished they’d known before they had their babies, tricks they wanted to share to save this mom-to-be from their own mistakes. Other women countered, saying that there were never any mistakes, just lessons that were sometimes harder than others to learn. Some women cried, others laughed and hugged. Tissues littered the floor and coffee table. Women sat on the floor, on the edges of couches and huddled together to listen to and learn from one another. Pots of coffee, punch and bottles of wine were emptied and the room hummed with stories. As everyone left, the new mother kissed everyone, stating that she felt closer to these friends than she ever had before. It was a shower to remember and my sister and I felt silly that we were worried about the $15.95 present and the list.

As women we have so much to share, but often we keep our darkest moments or biggest struggles to ourselves, thinking that it is safer to keep them hidden. What I learned from that day at the shower, and maybe the others did too, was that we had all “been there” in one way or another and that by listening and sharing we realized how all these moments made us better mothers and women.

So if you find yourself searching for that perfect gift for an expectant friend, along with a traditional gift, find something personal you can share—a thought, story or a feeling you have about them—to help celebrate this new stage of life for them and to let them know that you are there for them, no matter what!

Kim Tait is a mother of an energetic one-and-a-half-year-old toddler and is a middle school English teacher in Victoria.